My Explorations Category - Into The Deep My Explorations

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Being Free vs. Freedom- Journeying Within

Hello, my friends. It's been a moment since I've posted, and truly I don't even know who will read this. But today it felt important to get some thoughts out onto (electronic) paper, rather than capturing my voice on a podcast. I'm sure these things will come to The Conscious Cafe very soon, but right now the thoughts swirling in my head require a more concrete manifestation to be brought into this world. Lately, I've been diving inward. Into the deep. Not the Deep of my business, but the depths of myself. I thought, for a long time, that I'd already gone as far as I could go, that I'd explored the depths and lived to tell the tale. But now I see that there can be no end to the depths in which you can travel within yourself. My Inner Voice, soul, intuition…

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18 Books for the Spiritual Seeker- The Books that Changed my Life

Hello my friends, and welcome back to Collectively Quantum! I have been getting so many requests for good book recommendations, so today I thought I would compile all my favorites into one list. The list is separated into different genres, but truthfully anyone can benefit from any one of these books. That being said, there are a ton of spiritual/self-development books out there. This list simply includes the ones that had the most profound impact on me- The books that changed my life! I hope you find one that resonates with you. If you're ready, let's get started! Consciousness Books This section contains all the books that will make you change your mind- literally. These are the books that facilitated my biggest leaps in consciousness, opened me to new perspectives, and catapulted my inner dialogue to a place of light, love, and awareness. The…

Revelations: Reclaiming my Feminine Energy

Hello, beautiful friends. It’s been a while since I shared an update on my personal journey, so I thought I would share today! I recently experienced a really beautiful ‘ah-ha’ moment, and I am so excited to share it with you all. This post is all about the energies that flow within us-primarily the Masculine/Feminine duality. In Chinese medicine and other ancient healing techniques, this energy is known as the Yin/Yang. Yin represents the feminine energy of life, and Yang represents the masculine. When applied to humanity, the general idea is that each person resonates most strongly with either Yin or Yang energy in the majority of their being. But no being is fully Yin or fully Yang; as the traditional depiction shows, there is always Yin within the Yang and vice versa. This is why Masculine (Yang) energy humans still have the ability…

Back to Ballet: Discovering Who I Am

A bit of background information for this post. I trained for sixteen years to be a professional ballet dancer, and a month before I joined a company, my adrenals failed. I was forced to stop dancing completely, and for about two years I stuffed down my grief. I left ballet behind forever, or so I thought. This post is taken directly from my journal entry right before I stepped back into the studio for the first time in two years. Life is so funny. I’m sitting here at the counter, with a leotard on, and a bun. I hair sprayed my hair, I have ballet slippers in my bag…. It feels like it should be 2018, but no, here I am, 2021, about to go to a ballet class. Life is so funny sometimes. 2019 left me ragged. Lost and hurt. I threw out…

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Bringing Joy to My Soul: My Journey from Nothing to Something

I don’t fully know what I expected to happen over the past thirty days. The goals I held in my mind for this challenge have since been forgotten as the tides of the past thirty days have swept me down a path I didn’t ask for or understand. I set off on this journey from a place of depression, anxiety, and overwhelm. I started this journey, in a way, to run away from the overwhelming feeling of nothingness that was enveloping me. As I have walked the past thirty days my mindset has changed completely. I have not reached peace, or joy, but I see the light. The past thirty days have completed the crumbling of all of my previous thoughts, ideas, and perceptions. From where I sit now, everything seems gray and uncertain. I have found even my faith to be shaken, to…

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Hindsight is 2020: How to Make the Most Out of This Season

As we journey to the end of 2020, we are faced with the memories of all that has happened this year. Many of us remember all the bad, all the what-ifs, all the if onlys. But how many of us have taken the time to truly reflect? We always say that hindsight is 2020. With all of the glorious 20/20 jokes that are at our disposal, why aren’t we jumping on this one? We always say we don’t know we are in the good old days until they are gone. But what if these are the good old days? What if the time we are forced to spend by ourselves, with our spouses, or in a house with our in-laws are the days that we will miss years down the road? Right now, in the middle of all of this, we have been given…

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What is the Purpose of the Ego?

The other day, someone asked me, ‘What is the purpose of the ego?’ At the time, I gave my standard explanation, about how the ego is the center of our attachments, the home of resistance and identity. I explained that duality resides in the ego, and that all emotions rise from challenging the ego and its power. To read the full explanation, check out this post. But after the conversation ended, I felt frustrated. The explanation I gave didn’t satisfy me, or even the person I was talking to. As I cleaned up the kitchen, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to the ego than I originally defined, and if there was a greater purpose than what I could see. Cut to me scavenging the internet, looking at various descriptions of what the ego is and why it exists. This quote…

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Reconnect the Wires: What Happens When You Ask for Help

Help Me. These are the words I uttered as I sat on my bedroom floor, folding my laundry and wondering what my purpose is. Help me. This is the thought I had as I realized I was lost, once again, in the sea of my mind’s expectations and desires. Help. Me. This feeling isn’t new, or strange, or foreign. Help me. That moment when I, the awareness of my mind and my soul, realize how out of alignment I am. Out of alignment with my truth, with my purpose, with my life. When the feelings of dissatisfaction and frustration and fear seem to eat me up alive. It’s strange, how often this feeling comes, and how quickly it goes away. Because I know, at the end of the day, all I have to do is reconnect the wires. In January, I was sitting on…

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How to Help Others: A Conversation with My Inner Voice

When I am feeling stressed, anxious, sad, or worried, I often sit down to journal. Many times during these writing sessions, a voice comes to me. Whether it is my own soul speaking through me, a channeled entity, or my subconscious, I do not know. But I do know that this voice, whatever it is, has infinite wisdom beyond my mind's comprehension. Today, this voice had a message about the common human goal to help others. Although this message came through to address a lot of my own personal doubts, I felt called to share it all with you. I know this message will resonate with everyone in some way, and I would love to know what it means to you. The goal is not to help others, my love. The others can always help themselves. No, the goal is to help yourself. For…

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We Are Weak, My Love: A Channeled Poem

= We are weak we are weak We are weak, My love. Weak from the cause of our pain We are weak we are weak We are weak, My love. Weakness with nothing to gain. You suffer and strive With no hope to survive Foolish, the source of your pain. We are weak from the Laughter of children Weak from the fall Of their tears Weak from our own Foolish suffering Suffering without hope from our fears. Your minds are Lit like a candle Burning away and away. But if you just look inside You’ll find you survive Free from the source of your pain. This poem comes from a place of love. Although you may not believe in channeling, I think the message behind the poem remains clear, no matter its origins. To me, this poem represents the power of our minds and…

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Reincarnation Theory: Part One

The concept of reincarnation can be challenging, especially if you grew up in a religious household. I grew up in a Christian household, and until very recently the concept of reincarnation was foreign. This post is not meant to change anyone’s minds. Instead, I am hoping to share my point of view on a very subjective and intricate topic. Growing up as a Christian, I never questioned my belief in the fact that we only have one life to live. I also never questioned that we need to use this life to earn our salvation. I never questioned it, that is, until I went through a period of existential depression. Often, our lowest moments open us up to a new level of awareness. As Einstein said, you cannot solve a problem in the same level of consciousness that it was created. This period of…

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Floating: Feeling the Fear of Being Left Behind

As we know, our minds live in a world of duality, a world in which everything is black or white, good or bad. When you start to wake up to the awareness within you and realize that there is so much more to the world than what meets the eye, there seems to be an expectation that duality just fades away. That the black and the white suddenly mix and turn into gray. I know I had that expectation, and I also know that, to date, that expectation has not been met. No matter how much my consciousness has expanded, there is always another mental box to be dissolved, or another area my mind only sees in black or white. While I could only share about the times I’ve experienced Satori (or mini-enlightenment, as I like to call it), or about spiritual concepts, or…

As Flow Would Have It: What is Flow?

In psychology, Flow describes moments of complete mental immersion in an activity. Those moments when you lose track of time and feel like you have found an infinite vortex. Often these moments bring about our biggest breakthroughs, our strongest performances, or the most peaceful moments in our lives. But what if, instead of reserving flow for a very select few activities and moments, we lived life in a state of flow? What if we became so immersed in our lives, so tuned in to the present moment, that our lives became the vortex? For me, Flow is a mix of the psychological definition and the phrase ‘go with the flow’. Flow means listening to your intuition, your inner voice, and doing whatever it says. Leaning into the metaphysical life, knowing that your path, your soul destiny, cannot be found by thinking or mental effort.…

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Feeling Fear: Where I Want to Take the Blog

Lately, I’ve been in my head quite a bit, feeling this lovely little thing called fear. It is such an interesting space to navigate, being a college student but also deeply enmeshed in the spirituality and consciousness community. I find that I have been trying to fit into a box, make myself into the manifestation guru that seems to be so popular these days. You know the one. Law of Attraction, manifestation, creating your own reality. Their lives are so beautiful, so vibrant, so… whatever they want them to be. Don’t get me wrong, I lived this way for a while. But lately I’ve realized something: I don’t know what I want. It is hard to manifest your dream life if you don't know what you want to manifest. Honestly, spending all of my mental energy living in a manifesting headspace seems... daunting. Tiring,…

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Shadows

For in the shadows of the night There lurks a presence Milky white It does not speak it merely shines Its only present In your mind For what you see you cannot hear The difference Becoming clear So let it go my darling one Drop the veil And face the sun

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